


Lucky Ones

by JackAnthonySylverwind



Category: The Perks of Being a Wallflower - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Sam and Brad are only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-27 01:23:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7597915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackAnthonySylverwind/pseuds/JackAnthonySylverwind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patrick visits Charlie while he's at Mayview. It changes everything between them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lucky Ones

**Author's Note:**

> AU. Not beta read, so forgive any spelling mistakes. 
> 
> Title refers to the Lana Del Rey song found on the deluxe version of Born to Die, as do the quotes that open and close the story.

_Lucky Ones_

_"I got so scared,_  
_I thought no one could save me_  
_You came along,_  
_Scooped me up like a baby."_

Much to his surprise, Charlie doesn't hate Mayview.

  
Granted, the first two weeks are hell. He can barely get through the day without bursting into tears, and he can't close his eyes without seeing things he doesn't want to see. His doctor, Dr. Burton, a very kind, warm woman, tells him it's normal. That with time and therapy he'll be able to deal with what's happening to him.

  
Charlie doesn't believe her, but he tries to hold onto hope. Mayview isn't as terrible of a place as the people in town made it out to be. It's quiet, for one, which he's thankful for. There's enough noise in his head to last him a lifetime.

  
He tries to channel all of his energy into cooperating with Dr. Burton, who lets him know that his efforts aren't going by unnoticed and that she's happy he's trying to participate. That almost makes him laugh.

  
Days roll by, turn into weeks, and before he knows it, he's already spent two months at Mayview. His family visits often. His friends don't, but their letters reach him, and he's touched, because he's heard just how time consuming college can be. He wasn't expecting them to write to him, yet they had.

  
To his surprise, the letter that moves him the most is Patrick's. He tells him how sorry he is that he can't be there for him they way he was when things went sour with Brad. He also promises to come visit him as soon as possible, which Charlie dismisses as a lie.

  
He shouldn't have.

* * *

 It happens on a Sunday, around midday.

  
Charlie's sitting at his desk, typing away at his typewriter.

"Charlie?" His doctor's voice comes from behind him, and there's something in it that he hasn't heard it before. It worries him.

  
He turns around to look at her. "Yes?"

  
The woman's eyes are wide, and she sits at the edge of his bed carefully.

  
"I have some very..interesting...news to share. I'm not sure how you'll react to them, but i talked to the other doctors, and we all agree that it would be wrong not to tell you."

  
Charlie bites his lip, trying to keep at bay the fears that are dying to consume him. He wonders what the news are. Could it be that his parents made up their minds about him and ended up realizing they didn't want a damaged son? Or, perhaps, that staff of Mayview has decided he's too much of a lost cause to ever go home?

  
All of the different possibilities make him dizzy, and he has to fight with the darkness inside to actually hear what his doctor says.

  
"A young man came by earlier today, and he asked to see you. We couldn't let him, since he wasn't immediate family, or had permission from your family to see you. He left you this." The doctor extends her hand, offering him a tattered scrap of paper.

  
Charlie takes it. "What did he look like?" He tries not to sound too hopeful.

  
"Tall, skinny, long hair and a beard. Handsome," Then, with a smile, she adds, "He made the security guards look like a bunch of idiots. He almost made it to the elevators."

  
"Holy shit," Charlie says, and he laughs, because he knows just who his visitor was, and he can't believe it.

  
"Charlie, is he someone you'd be interested in seeing?" His doctor asks. He nods.

  
"Yes, absolutely."

"Then I'll call your parents as soon as possible and try to get them on board."

  
The doctor leaves, and Charlie can't believe his luck. He spends the rest of the day thanking the universe, God, the Gods and Goddesses, every deity in existence and still, he goes to bed feeling like its not enough.

  
He looks at the scrap of paper before closing his eyes.

  
_They wouldn't let me in, but i plan to keep my promise. Hold on tight, Rocky._  
_-Patrick_

  
Charlie sleeps with it pressed against his heart.

* * *

 Dr. Burton calls his parents.

  
The next time they visit, it's discussed.

  
"Don't you think it's too early to see anyone, sweetheart?" His mother protests. "Besides us, I mean. I don't want you to feel like you have to interact with others to prove to us that you're...getting better." She runs a shaking hand through his hair. The look on her face tells Charlie everything he needs to know-she's out of her element, therefore, afraid. Very afraid.

  
He grabs her hand, trying to transmit some form of reassurance. "I'm not trying to prove anything, mom. I just really, really want to see Patrick. It's been too long. I haven't seen a friend in forever."

  
His mother turns to look at his father, who's leaning against the wall. He doesn't look at her, though. He's looking at Charlie, who offers him a tentative smile. His dad shakes his head, looks away for a moment and then looks back at his son, a smile on his lips.

  
"Well, I think it's a good idea. A darn good idea." He looks at Dr. Burton. "Can somebody else be in the room, though? Just to be safe?" The doctor nods quickly.

  
"Definitely."

  
His mom sighs. She squeezes his hand. "Is this really want you want, Charlie?"

  
He nods.

  
That afternoon, Dr. Burton gets in contact with Patrick's family, who contact him at his dorm.

  
"He's coming next Saturday," Dr. Burton tells him before bedtime. She seems almost as excited as he is. "I've asked to be the one to supervise your visit. If they say yes, which I'm almost sure they will, I'll just sit outside. That way you and your friend can have some privacy."

  
Charlie thanks her for over ten minutes. Then he's in the dark again, but this time, there's no nightmares. There's no fights, no confrontations with Aunt Helen and no hauntings of any kind.

  
There's only him and Patrick, and a stolen kiss in the pale moonlight.

* * *

 He feels him before he sees him.

  
He'd been sitting on his bed, watching the rain pour down outside of the hospital. It's beautiful and sad at the same time, and it reminds him of himself.

  
The atmosphere of the room changes then, the heaviness in it lifting and transforming into something else he can't quite put his finger on. Charlie turns around, and he sees Dr. Burton by the door, with somebody else standing behind her.

  
"Well, boys, I'll be out here if you need anything." The doctor moves to the side and fades from view, revealing the person behind her.

  
Charlie can't help but smile.

  
Patrick looks the way he always has: beautiful. His dark, wavy hair reaches his shoulders now, and Charlie can't help but wish he could run his fingers through it. He thinks about asking for permission to do so, but he pushes the thought away for the time being.

  
"Hello there, Charlie boy." Patrick says softly, walking into the room. He points at Charlie's bed. "Got room for one more?"

  
He nods quickly. "Of course!" Patrick smiles and joins him on the bed.

  
They spend several minutes just looking at each other in silence. Charlie notices, much to his delight, that there's no awkwardness in this silence. If anything, there's gorgeousness in it, because it's filled with perfect understanding.

  
Charlie's the one to break the ice, and he almost regrets it, because the silence was comforting. But today isn't about being comfortable, he reminds himself internally.

  
"I heard about what you did," Patrick blushes. "And i got your note. Thank you. For keeping your promise, i mean."

  
"It's the least i could do, Charlie," The older of the two boys says earnestly.

  
"No it wasn't. You could've just written. Running from security like that was a big risk. You could've gotten into so much trouble."

Patrick shrugged. "I'd do it again. You're worth it."

  
For a moment, Charlie doesn't know what to say. Patrick's words are charged, and he can feel the electricity in them, the vibrations.

  
"Thanks, Patrick. That's..." He was certain he was blushing. "That's probably the most beautiful thing anybody's ever said to me."

  
His friend laughs and shakes his head. "Oh, Charlie, Charlie. Forever the poet." Charlie chuckles. "Tell me, what do you do for fun around here? How do you keep yourself entertained?"

  
They spend the next five hours catching up. Charlie tells Patrick about Mayview, about what he's written during his period of isolation and about Dr. Burton. He remembers, halfway through their conversation, just how much of a good listener Patrick is. He rarely interrupts, and when he does, it's to ask genuine questions.

  
When it's Patrick's turn to talk, he tells Charlie a little bit of everything. He loves college life, but not college. He's doing well in his classes, but doesn't exactly feel like he's learning as much as he'd like to be. And while, yes, he's found exciting new music, it doesn't quite compare to the tunes that colored their many adventures.

  
"I think what they're missing is you," Patrick says thoughtfully, eyes fixed on Charlie in such a way that he feels like his friend isn't looking at him, but deep into his soul. "You were always the driving force behind each song we loved."

  
Charlie frowns. "Me? Why me?"

  
"Because of your insight. You made everything so much more true and alive and intense and..." There were tears in Patrick's eyes, and one of them managed to set itself free, rolling down his cheek quickly. Charlie wiped it away gently.

  
Patrick takes his hand and interlocks their fingers. "And hopeful, Charlie. You gave hope to all of us. Especially me."

  
"Especially you?" He inquires.

  
"Especially me." Patrick repeats. Charlie notices that their fingers remain interlocked, but doesn't say anything. He likes the feeling, the physicality of his connection with Patrick.

  
Eventually, Dr. Burton comes around to tell Patrick that visiting hours are over. Charlie walks him to the door, their hands still connected. Patrick looks down at them, then back at Charlie, a smile on his face.

  
"I'm coming back, you know."

  
"I still don't want to let go." He says honestly.

  
Patrick's smile gets bigger. "Neither do I, but for now, you have to. You have my word that I'll come back."

  
Charlie nods and, reluctantly, lets go of Patrick's hand.

  
Patrick kisses his cheek and whispers in his ear, "See you on Saturday."

  
"Saturday", Charlie repeats, and as he watches him leave, the most wonderfully strange thing happens.

  
For the first time since he was admitted to Mayview, he doesn't feel alone.

* * *

 Dr. Burton asks about Patrick in the session following his visit.

  
"How did it feel, seeing him again after all this time?"

  
Charlie frowns. "The same way it always has."

  
She smiles. "And how is that? Elaborate."

  
Charlie goes quiet. It's not that he doesn't know how to describe what seeing Patrick felt like, because he does. He can think of a thousand ways to do that. He just doesn't think that Dr. Burton will be able to understand, smart as she is. It's the same thing he's always feared; the same fear that led him to grow inwards instead of outwards.

  
"If i tell you, you can't...tell anybody what i said, right? It stays between us?" He inquires hesitantly.

  
His words surprise her, but she hides it well. Or so she believes, because Charlie, observant in ways others are not, notices the way her body tenses, the way her muscles prepare themselves to endure whatever's to come.

  
"Of course, Charlie."

  
He takes a deep breath. "Seeing Patrick again...changed a lot of things. It reminded me that even though i am in here, away from everyone, i am not...alone."

  
"You've never been alone, Charlie," The doctor notes. "Your family's made sure of that."

  
He nods. "Yeah, that's true. But family's supposed to do that. Even if they don't like you, they're obligated to take care of you. Patrick...Patrick had no obligation to come. But he did. And he stayed with me for as long as he was allowed to, not out of pity but..."

  
"But?"

  
"But out of love," Charlie concludes. The words almost make him gasp, and he realizes there are tears in his eyes.

  
Dr. Burton eyes him quietly. Then, with a devilish grin, she asks, "And how do you feel about that?"

  
Charlie laughs and shakes his head. Tears spill down his cheeks, but they're not a burden, so he doesn't wipe them away. The droplets feel refreshing, nourishing, even.

  
"I feel lucky. Lucky to be alive and to be loved."

* * *

 On Saturday, there's no fear.

Patrick struts into the room with a huge, dopey grin on his face, and Charlie can't help but reciprocate. Patrick's energy is contagious.

"What's got you so cheerful, if i may ask?" Charlie taunts as Patrick joins him on the bed, both boys moving to sit across from each other, Indian style.

  
"You may, my most inquisitive angel," Charlie giggles at that. "And, If you must know, I'm quite excited to see you."

  
Without a doubt, blood was rushing to his face. He doesn't look away from Patrick, though. He wants to soak up everything the other boy does, he wants it burnt into his memory. "I'm excited to see you too, Patrick."

  
Patrick smiles. "I'm glad." He interlocks their fingers like last time, and Charlie squeezes them, wanting Patrick to know that he wants this as much as he does. He thinks he sees his friend bite his lip. "I actually wanted to talk to you about something." His eyes meet Charlie's.

  
He doesn't look away. "Yeah?"

  
Patrick looks down at their interlocked fingers. He lifts their hands up gingerly, careful not to separate them. "What does this mean to you, Charlie? Because it might mean something entirely different to me."

  
There is a moment of silence.

  
"Do you remember that night we kissed? First in the park, then in your car, when you took me home," Patrick nods, and there's pain in his eyes. That was a dark time in his life, the darkest, perhaps, and Charlie knows looking back is no easy task. "Do you remember what I said when you apologized?"

  
He nods again. "You said it was okay."

  
Charlie smiles sadly. "I never got a chance to tell you what i meant by that. I was going to tell you, I swear, but Sam...she assumed that I'd let you kiss me out of pity. That it'd been one sided. She didn't know that i..."

  
"That you?" Patrick asks softly, and it's almost a whisper.

  
"That I kissed you back because I wanted to. I thought you deserved to be kissed by someone who loved you."

  
Patrick kisses him.

  
It's nothing like their previous kisses. There's no pain here, only love. They hold onto each other gently, almost as if they were afraid to break one another. But there's trust that it won't happen, an understanding that they won't ever hurt each other.

  
When they pull away, they're both blushing and breathing deeply.

  
"Can I tell you a secret, Charlie?"

  
"Yeah," He breathes.

  
"I always saw you," Patrick says passionately. "Not the silence, not the poetry and not the music, although those were, and still are, beautiful parts of you." He presses his forehead against Charlie's, who leans in, furthering the closeness. "That night at the park, when I said i could meet the love of my life any second, I had no idea he was sitting right there, watching over me, making sure I didn't do anything stupid."

  
Tears spill down Patrick's cheeks, and Charlie kisses each one of them. He kisses Patrick on the lips again, short and tender.

  
"I didn't know either," He says, and places a hand on Patrick's cheek.

  
"Now we know," Patrick replies, his voice quivering.

  
"Now we know." Charlie agrees.

_"Everybody told me love was blind_  
_Then I saw your face and you blew my mind_  
_Finally, you and me, are the lucky ones this time."_

 


End file.
